You’ve witnessed the glitz and glamour. The world of an elite in front of your eyes. When it’s dark, everything looks bright and beautiful… Some refined magic tricks to make you buy a slice of a non existing world. A perfum or a bag. When it comes to fashion and luxury, there is so much fantasy that comes to mind. There’s always been glamour but for the last decade or so, the major brands have displayed the most money, the most power, the most entertainment than ever before.

We moved from fashion houses dynamics to superpower conglomerate dynamics where they are able to sell the dream to the whole wide world. Rich and poor, young and old. The story telling, the celebrities, the wealthy lifestyle… This is everywhere. Social media being the catalyzer to have a presence in people’s everyday life. Now the metaverse is coming and it will turn human beings into voracious consuming buffoons.

The reality is that for the 99% of creatives who are not being supported by these massive financial groups, their life is always on the edge. The 0.1%, the most successful and the lucky ones, made it to run million dollar companies. Then, for the second tier, you have maybe one year before running out of cash. For the rest, the other 98% of us, a few months, a few weeks or simply nothing and most likely debts. 

Whatever the image you’re being sold, most of the creatives, might be in fashion, music, film, art… are broke and struggle to keep a decent living.

Being a creative is a curse. You live in a vicious circle that ruins your life completely. You have a talent that is pure. It transcends your whole being. It’s almost metaphysical. You’ve worked for years in order to master your craft and your art. You spend all of your money until the last dime to keep on creating. You have to stay motivated while everyone around you thinks you’re crazy. You might be laughed at. But you believe in your godly hands… And you keep on going relentlessly. Genius of your own, mad man of the world. You’re only driven by your vision. That’s the only thing that keeps you alive.

It took me years to learn and understand. I’ve been fortunate to meet amazing people during my fashion journey who taught me everything I know today. During these times I was literally starving. I was eating one time a day with whatever could fit in my 3€/day budget. On the good weeks I would find a discount deal on a pack of eggs. I was renting a room from a friend, it was the cheapest you could ever get in Paris, but it was still 60% of my super tiny monthly budget. 

This is also a time where I would go out often because this is supposedly how you make a “network”. The network I’ve developed was certainly made of bouncers and club managers. That was particularly useful for fashion week parties.I would spend 15 to 20€ for one drink, the equivalent of what I would spend on food for 5 or 6 days. I would keep that drink for the whole night.

When I was finally able to have a vision for my brand, it was time to work on my first collection, I moved back to my parents in order to work in a steel factory. That was the only way I had to make money and save it. No need to talk about health and death risks with all the fire and toxic dust. It felt like going back to the 19th century.

Once a month, during my days off I would still go back to Paris to work on my collection. I couldn’t count how many “friends” flaked on me and how many times I was saved by girls who allowed me to crash at their place for one or two nights. Women have golden hearts, always ready to help a broken man with a plan. They are the healers of this world. Without them I would have spent many nights outside. I have always been warmly welcomed with a smile , open arms and food. Even when it was last minute. 

Now I’m working on my third collection and it’s always the same pain. This time I don’t need to work at the factory again (at least for now) but I’m still pushing myself towards big financial risks, forcing me to find new ways to make money that I can invest in my line. Each sample costs in the thousands. My designs and my eye for detail and quality have improved a lot since my previous collection. And it’s really like someone has put a spell on me. The more my skills grow, the more difficult it gets and the more isolated I get. You have a ton of doubts, you spend more time trying than actually making things. You get lost in the hunting phase of finding the best fabrics, because nothing is good enough. And I would spend an unhealthy amount of time focusing on small details more than anything else. I’ve drawn at least 5 collections and ended up only keeping a dozen pieces. 

It’s the most fulfilling joy that you have when you see your prototype looking exactly how you imagined it. And for that overwhelming feeling, you are in a permanent state of anxiety and distress at times. 

I don’t own much to my name. Just my leather jackets, my boots and my guitars. I probably won’t die with much but these little things that I own I want to keep them! I don’t want to go back to that stage where I had to sell everything I owned to make a new sample. Most of all, I don’t want to live again the way I was living until a couple years ago. Nothing is permanent in this life but if I have learnt one thing, it is that misery can be a very loyal friend. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’ve learned to fully leave my destiny between the hands of God. There’s no future, I live in the present. Maybe I’ll crash tomorrow… Maybe not.

Paradoxically, at this stage of my creative journey, I don’t even make this collection for business purposes. I’m not sure if I will be able to sell much pieces anyway. I’ve come to realize, this is a personal project more than anything. And maybe I’m waiting for a divine miracle to be freed from that spell. 

I create now because I want to be amazed by how I will convert an idea into a beautiful piece of clothing. I want to tell a new story. I want to see what I can’t find. My brand is like a human being with its own identity, its good and bad influences. Each piece that I make, reveals more of its character, more of its philosophy, more of its vision, its evolution…

Maybe that’s why we, artists of all sorts, are doomed. We are modern Victor Frankensteins who have created our own Creature. That fantastic creature, looking for love but awfully rejected by society, has, now, no other goal than destruction. It’s driven by making us miserable and ashamed by afflicting pain and despair. This is a fight for life. This is a fight for peace… Until we both die in disregard.